Respect their journey. A very wise friend of mine used these words with me recently. What a great way to say, none of your business, it’s not your problem, and quit worrying. I’ll add, unless they ask, then I’m all over it.
When my children were born, they were perfect and I wanted to keep them that way. Reason flies out the window when you look at the tiny unspoiled masterpiece that is your newborn. No junk food for their healthy little bodies. Their dad and I waited til they were asleep to break out the Twinkies, chips and ice cream.
I hovered so they wouldn’t fall, but they did. As they grew, others hurt their feelings and I was angry even when it was another child, but what could I do? Even back then you couldn’t spank someone else’s child. Though I couldn’t give them everything they desired, I wanted to. I magnified their disappointments by adding my own.
They’re all adults and have added grandchildren to the mix. Now my job is even bigger. I still want all good things for my kids. Of course we differ on that definition and I have zero control. I want to share the wisdom of my years on how to raise grandkids and no one is interested. I want all the cousins to be crazy about each other. That was a source of joy for a long time, but then their interests changed and they met school friends. They are all close, but it’s impossible for them to spend as much time together.
If somehow I could give them a perfect life, I would rob them of important lessons. I need to trust in them and have faith in God and maybe in somethings be a good example.
Respecting each of their journeys, is great for me too. It let’s me off the hook. I don’t have to figure it all out, don’t have to fill my days with judging and finding solutions for everyone close to me. I can use the time to work on myself. What a blessing.